In shared care disputes, both parents usually believe they are right. The CMS and the tribunal cannot read minds, so they look for records made at the time. A care diary is the simplest one you can keep.
What makes a diary credible
A judge will ask: when was this written? A diary filled in every evening is far more persuasive than a calendar reconstructed months later. That does not mean it has to be elaborate. One line a day is enough:
Fri 6 Mar: collected from school 3.15pm, overnight with me. Sat 7 Mar: overnight with me. Sun 8 Mar: returned to other parent 5pm.
Include the nights that did not happen
If a weekend was cancelled, write it down, with the reason. It feels counterintuitive, but recording missed nights is what makes the rest believable.
Keep supporting evidence alongside it
Your diary is stronger when other evidence matches it:
- messages arranging handovers or swaps
- school pick-up records or emails
- receipts from days out or activities
- photos with dates
Choose a format you will actually keep up
A paper diary, a notes app, a shared calendar or a spreadsheet all work. What matters is consistency. The care diary template gives you a printable month-by-month grid, and the care nights counter exports a spreadsheet you can update.
Do not edit after the event
If you get something wrong, add a dated correction rather than overwriting. Edited records raise questions you do not want to answer at a hearing.
When the diary becomes evidence
If you need it for a reconsideration or appeal, do not send 12 months of pages on their own. Add a one-page summary: total nights per month, total for the year, and which shared care band that puts you in. Then let the diary sit behind it as the proof.
