Dealing with the CMS, DWP and tribunals while parenting and working is exhausting. Looking after yourself is not a luxury: it makes you better at the case, and better for your children.
Contain the case
- Set a regular, limited time each week for case work, and keep to it
- Keep everything in one folder, physical or digital, so it does not spread through your life
- Do not read CMS letters or messages from the other parent late at night
- Draft difficult messages, then wait a day before sending
- Tell one or two trusted people what is happening, so you are not carrying it alone
Communicating with the other parent
- Keep messages short, factual and about the children. Imagine a judge reading them, because one might.
- Use one written channel, and avoid phone calls if they tend to escalate.
- Do not discuss the case in front of the children, or ask them to carry messages.
- If you feel unsafe, contact the police, and see the support below.
Protecting the children
Children pick up on conflict. They do not need to know about money disputes or court cases. If they ask, give a simple, honest answer suited to their age: “Mum and Dad are sorting out some grown-up things. It’s not your job to worry about it.”
When it feels like too much
If you are struggling, talk to your GP. You can also contact:
| Service | Contact |
|---|---|
| Samaritans | 116 123, any time, free |
| Shout | Text SHOUT to 85258 |
| National Domestic Abuse Helpline | 0808 2000 247, 24 hours |
| Men’s Advice Line | 0808 801 0327 |
| Emergency | 999 |
Leaving this site quickly
If you need to leave this website in a hurry, use the yellow Leave this site button at the top of every page, or press the Escape key twice.
